[Spy walks away to pour a drink. . [turns] Scout. Engineer: Yeah. Miss Pauling: Have a good weekend guys. ], Heavy: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON! Scout: [in pain] Wait! Miss Pauling: TomorrowI'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses. This is first hinted at in the, When the Soldier tells the Engineer he has a question, he does not actually ask a. I get one day off a year. As the Heavy, Scout, and Soldier return from a mission to capture a briefcase, Miss Pauling video calls them to ask how the mission went. The Heavy leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van. Soldier has a grin on his face, Demo looks concerned, and Spy looks very worried. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Heavy falls out of one of the bags. ], [Miss Pauling looks Scout in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. Soldier: Arrghh! It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. Minusve're not bread. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. At 3:51, the drawing of the Spy being hit by a car is a very similar drawing to one found in the Source Filmmaker Beta files. [A match is lit, revealing Scout and Miss Pauling pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]. Now go! The Heavy takes a drumstick from the fridge and tosses it over his shoulder. ], [Miss Pauling looks Scout in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. You have a dinner date for seven what time do you arrive? Can we do this again? Once she recovers, Miss Pauling admits that the experience was fun. Immediately following the release of the video, the line "I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days" gained popularity within the Team Fortress 2 community. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor. I need your help. [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. A can of BONK! [He brandishes a BLU briefcase ] Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. As long as nobody teleports any bread. The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion. [Spy stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Scout. No. At 4:16, the Scout line, "Classic Scout", was improvised by voice actor Nathan Vetterlein as detailed in his Twitch Stream. [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. The kind that smell good, and can read. During the fight, Miss Pauling attempts to blow up the Bread Monster by using a Payload cart, strapping the Scout's death watch to it to serve as a timer. - I teleported bread. Scout grabs a hold of her and yanks her off to one side as the bread monster knocks the bomb around. Soldier: [Leaning backwards] I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days. He slowly pulled it out filling the room with a long loud moan. All perk up to the sound of feedback on the speakers.]. Well the Yeah, the thing is [Cut to a shot of Soldier, Spy, and Demo watching the monitors. Miss Pauling climbs to her feet and darts away, pressing herself up against the RED payload bomb. can is punctured by a brass flourish. Um. You can help me yank the molars out of a box full of heads. We have the resources. We are going to live forever! It's still possible that it happened before, as, once again, there isn't much evidence. [Front shot of the van pulling into the garage. [The Engineer gestures with his head to the Teleporter. She looks at him quizzically in silence. Scout: Seven. Miss Pauling: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. He lowers the dummy down, holding onto its back with one hand as he looks up to Spy, who nods his head in approval. [He looks down at the cart. Why don't we discuss it over dinner? Scout: OwO Wait! Um. Spy: [somewhat bemused] sexual congress with a dragon. The Engineer smacks his Sentry Gun with his wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and he motions for Demoman to join the battle as well.] Expiration Date Sequel Script (LEAKED) spoiler nsfw. The bread monster turns his attention towards the Pyro, and immediately has its mouth filled with fire. 1. At 3:02, the animation when Scout smiles and looks at Soldier is recycled seconds later at 3:05. [Cut to Miss Pauling on the monitor. Scout: Yeah. The display beeps as the various mercenaries set their watches. A loaf of the bread falls off of the pile and Soldier gasps and grabs his bucket more tightly. (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant bread monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays.]. Half-standing, the Soldier examines the bucket.]. PROTIP: Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.] You're a failure. And this. The Soldier then takes his bucket and picks up a loaf of bread dropped by the Medic. Jul 22, 2021 at 08:33PM EDT Say something. Spy: How long before thesetumors kill us? Harry101UK, who attended Valve for winning the 2013 Saxxies, Illustrative Rendering in Team Fortress 2, https://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/index.php?title=Expiration_Date&oldid=3283837, This is the first Valve-made TF2 short to feature Miss Pauling, and the second to feature characters apart from the RED and BLU team (the first being the, However, some of the Engineer's lines are extracted sound files from Grant Goodeve. Cause I [He turns back while the Medic breaks open the loaf with a sickening crunch. It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat. Scout: Hey, Miss Pauling. He eyes it worriedly.]. The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. Scout: Yeah, sure! It reads 70:00:00. The bread creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and the Soldier chuckles to himself at its actions. Copypasta is a block of text that you can copy and paste into any chat or messaging platform. ], Scout: Lot of people busy with busywess. Cut to a close-up of the furry and Miss Pauling. A fight breaks out, with the other mercenaries rushing to their aid. can be seen littered around the room, and he is now reading a book titled Dating Nice Girls. The will. Cut to black. [The Medic shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the bread creature from earlier. [He makes a gun formation with his right paw. Yes. Spy: [ignoring him] It contains the dying wish of every man here. I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps! [2] Team Fortress 2 Wiki June 11, 2014 Patch. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and . The camera spotlights the loaf with ominous bass piano notes. Miss Pauling steps forward and turns to look at the bomb. Heavy grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to the Demoman, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. Miss Pauling: [Opening her eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck Miss Pauling: Oh. "Sure Kripp, as soon as you stop being hardcore," She types while tucking Frump. For more information, please see our The Sniper attempts to take another shot at the monster, but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. Scout: Wait. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. and our The Medic continues to scream as he grabs onto the bread creature and attempts to pry it off. [Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. [An ominous rumble shakes the entire base as the group look up at the ceiling. Scout: What? Spy, look at this. For future reference, in general and not just for TF2 stuff, there's several decent websites that you can upload images of text to, and they'll try and match the font. Copypastas are text memes! With two hours left on his death watch, Scout decides to take things into his own hands. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep. Dead! Scout: [choked and strained] Not my fault..! I'm a woman! [The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black. [An ominous rumble shakes the entire base as the group look up at the ceiling. At 6:25, the Soldier is carrying several loaves of bread. It is filled with note cards. She places her back up against the wall to the left of the door and glances upwards briefly. It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. [he gestures] He's [The Spy examines the card. ], [Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. Meanwhile, Scout stops insulting Spy long enough to ask him an embarrassing favor; the Administrator's clerical assistant/cleaner/murder expert Miss Pauling races to bury some incriminating bodies; and Soldier makes a new metal friend. Miss Pauling: [distracted] Scout? ], Soldier: [his hand still covering the Scout's face] Goodbye, Miss Pauling! [Spy stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Scout. Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. Scout: so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this Miss Pauling: GUYS! The RED Demoman takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. Scout: Miss Pauling. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! The Spy rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] A cigar smolders in the ashtray while the Spy unceremoniously drops a metal pail. The Engineer intervenes raising his hands.]. She places her back up against the wall to the left of the door and glances upwards briefly. [he places his hand on the Soldier's back and smiles] You teleport as much bread as you like. [The bread creature attempts to bite the Medic again as the Soldier leans in for a closer look. During the dancing scene, a recorder is visible that looks like the Red-Tape Recorder. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]. Shattering glass can be heard.']. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. I just said we're not filled with tumors! ], Miss Pauling: [Yelling] What the hell is that!? The screen cuts to black. ], [He flips a page and frowns. Scout grabs a hold of her and, making use of the dance moves he learned from Spy, keeps her safe from harm. Sowe're both busy. I'm leaving the van now. Miss Pauling: Well, on Friday I got to kill someone who pressed a briefcase alarm button andoh. Scout backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. Spy can be seen walking around Scout as the camera rotates around him in the opposite direction.] On one condition. It lets out another roar. Right. ], [Cut back to Spy and Scout in the classroom, only this time DANCING is written on the chalkboard. He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. Well the Yeah, the thing is [Cut to a shot of Soldier, Spy, and Demo watching the monitors. Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. --this! Engineer: [adjusting his helmet] Y'all know what this means right? Scout: [nervously] Yeah. 1. by As the Medic inspects the teleporter, the Engineer calls out to him. The Heavy slowly folds his arms.]. ], Heavy: [Turning to the Medic] NOW, DOCTOR! A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. The dashboard beeps again and the Heavy hits the Scout without taking his glance off of the road. by heavy TF2. The background music stops], (Editors note: I did not edit that last paragraph other than hands to paws. Publicado el 9 junio, 2022 por dollywood coasters fat friendly No. ], [TRAINING GYM: 51 HOURS TIL DEATH Camera slowly pans into a nearly empty gymnasium. The monster throws Scout at the Demoman, and they both collapse onto the ground. [A smile forms on her face]. The Soldier attempts to extricate the BLU Demoman's body from the hood of the van. Spy: Excellent. The camera spotlights the loaf with ominous bass piano notes. Deep chimes accent the moment] Medic: We all have three days to live. Cut to black. She lets out a yelp as one of the bread monster's tentacles slams into the ground. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! Spy: [rolls his eyes and gets off the door, light chimes and strings play] Make it quick. [The Heavy lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Scout and Miss Pauling.]. [He waves the Scout off and runs forward into battle. Heavy and Medic pause and look at the bread monster with fear in their eyes. It hates me so much! Muffled shots can be heard. Scout is busy searching for an escape route while Miss Pauling has a look of terror on her face. Meanwhile, through experimentation, Medic and Engineer have come to the conclusion that the growths in the bread are, in fact, not tumors at all, but a self-aware birthmark that can only thrive in pure wheat. The Soldier wanders over, interested. Scout reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but Spy slaps his paw away. ], [Scout can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. Wait! I'd like to go on a datewith Miss Pauling. The healing beam latches onto the Heavy, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the berCharge is deployed. Miss Pauling: Well, on Friday I got to kill someone who pressed a briefcase alarm button andoh. The Spy rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. About. (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant bread monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays. [The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black. TF2 Scout Metal Bat. Goodbye! Spy. ], [The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. ], [Fade to a shot of the Medic's Laboratory. It hates me so much! Scout turns back to Miss Pauling.]. [UPDATE]: The KitaBisa campaign is over, thank you all for donating! Say something. The two run for the exit as the bread monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. Miss Pauling: [finished with dragging body, she stands up and wipes the dirt from her hands] Funny you should mention that. Someone knocks on his door. I got a bucket of chicken Spy: [He slaps the chicken out of Scout's paws.] A dead BLU soldier can be seen draped on the roof of the van. We killed everyone and took a briefcase! Earn it! TF2 Critical hit. Scout: [stammering] Oh g-good. They enter the room that Soldier, Spy and Demoman are in and inform them that they are fine as long as no more bread is teleported. A march-like drum beat plays], [Cut to a close-up of a poker table. We cannot teleport bread anymore! The post received over 36,000 likes and reblogs in seven years (shown below, left). can is punctured by a brass flourish. The Medic estimates that each team member has about three days left to live. The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.]. Another jolt knocks them off their feet. [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's snout into his seat. [She points at the hangar they just exited from.] Before you go. I'll put this date on myself! The interior of the loaf contains pulsating green lumps and teeth. Scout, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the bread monster and slams his club into it. The camera pans to a shot showing all the mercenaries gathered around the table intently focusing on his words. [he brings out a card] I'd uh. Riots in the Teufort areas have grown out of control, and even the United States Army cannot control it. He places the bread on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. Miss Pauling tells Scout that she gets one day off a year. [The two rush towards the hangar, but they get cut off by the payload bomb being thrown at the blast doors, bending them and denying them access. Suddenly, another loaf of bread appears, silently hovering. Ow. [He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. Medic: Where?! The Engineer smacks his Sentry Gun with his wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and he motions for Demoman to move up. In recent news, the video-game company Valve is in hot water. Legal Information: Know Your Meme is a trademark of Literally Media Ltd. By using this site, you are agreeing by the site's terms of use and privacy policy and DMCA policy. - What? The Medic informs them that only bread mutates, and that they will all be fine (after the Soldier mistakenly states that they will live forever), while the Pyro starts playfully chasing down the remaining small Bread Monster. He is wearing a wolf fursuit, but only the boots. ], [Fade to a shot of the Medic's Laboratory. Fine. Scout: [regains confidence] You're probably real busy this weekend, right? Scout then admits Spy is better than him, and Spy demands that broadcast around the base as payment for his services. After arriving back at the base, Scout tries to ask her out, but he is unable to think of anything to say to her. ], [The Engineer turns to the Medic. One of Medic's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]. She is slightly irritated that they left witnesses that she has to take care of for them. Another ring comes with the appearance of the text "www.teamfortress.com". He leans on it trying to force the furry out.]. Miss Pauling briefly turns towards the scooter, as if to set it back upright, but instead continues on towards the door. He triumphantly celebrates his arrival with a crate of beer with limes wedged in the necks, his grenades on his vest removed to carry bottles. A look of determination can be seen on her face. As the camera pulls back farther, the Pyro can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small bread monster darting around his legs like a puppy as he tries to keep track of it.]. He twirls her back onto her feet and the two start running.] It's just bread that gets tumors! 70 hours left to live and counting. At 11:29 when the Medic berCharges the Heavy, it does not affect the Medic. Please. Spy, look at this. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. Medic: Vell, let's see. [She pushes past the Scout, who follows her.] Come on, Spy. [She lets out a deep breath, cocks the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Scout's fluffy chest, who's waiting for her there.]. Hello, my mission is for every person who goes onto this discussion, to type a part of the Expiration Date script that follows the previous sentence or two. Expiration Date is a movie that was released on the 17th of June 2014 to promote the Love and War Update. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]. He stammers and scratches his face.]. 1, 1, 1, umm. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30 [Spy looks down at Scout, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks]. Where have you been sending it?! He turns to address the Scout while the Medic steps back.]. [Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. Scout: Ehhh. Miss Pauling: Oh! Its called copypasta as a combination of both 'copy' and 'paste'. Oh, I am so sorry Miss Pauling: [Looking up from the wires] God, Scout, what for? We can't. Congratulations. Red embossing tape declares it a "DEATH CLOCK". It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on the Heavy, who endures the debris pounding down on his back.] (Note: captions read "Mrs. Pauling"), [The Soldier disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. The Scout tosses the keys. Sowe're both busy. ], [A match is lit, revealing Scout and Miss Pauling pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]. [The bread creature attempts to bite the Medic again as the Soldier leans in for a closer look. Miss Pauling: [Briefly glancing over at Scout] Uh-huh. Cut to Scout and Miss Pauling, who are also looking up at the ceiling]. Transcript [A lone RV is driving down a desert road.Camera cuts to the dashboard, where a bobblehead of the former Civilian sits. He looks back at the door. Realizing this is seven years old just hit me like a fucking truck, Jr. [The Engineer picks up a loaf of bread. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]. He attempts to mimic the Spy's actions, but instead sends the dummy flying into the Reel-to-Reel player behind them. ], [The Engineer turns to the Medic. Scout grabs a hold of her and, making use of the dance moves he learned from Spy, keeps her safe from harm. Scout, are we having a prom? The Scout tosses the keys. Engineer and Medic make an unsettling new discovery while experimenting with the teleporter. [The two rush towards the hangar, but they get cut off by the payload bomb being thrown at the blast doors, bending them and denying them access. Engineer: Whoa! Looks like I will be burying bodies all weekend. The rear bumper falls off.] A can of BONK! He places a hand on the Heavy's shoulder, jerking him awake. You're a failure. Look for a date accompanied with "use by," "sell by," or "best by.". The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. [he tosses it and draws another while the Scout giggles] A dragon having sexual congress with me. More cans of BONK! [His smile fades and he removes his helmet. No. Scout: [taken aback] Right! Go [bleep] yourself. Expiration Date teamfortress 1.2M subscribers Subscribe 36M views 8 years ago Engineer and Medic make an unsettling new discovery while experimenting with the teleporter. And you just wasted it on-- [She looks around her, pausing mid-sentence.] Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Scout, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face. The screen cuts to black. [The Heavy and Sniper are slightly amused. The will. The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. The Heavy looks harassed and brings the vehicle to a stop. Scout: Ehhh. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. This was a huge waste of my time. He places a hand on the Heavy's shoulder, jerking him awake. ], [In the classroom, the word DEMEANOR is now written on the board as the Spy continues to educate Scout, who is busy drawing a picture of Spy being shot in the head. [The Medic throws the jar containing the bread creature onto the ground. By entergalactic. Spy: We have seventy hours to live. Cut back to the team. 'v' [He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. The RED Demoman takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. While trying to talk to Pauling, the Soldier, Spy and Demoman spectate from another room. [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Miss Pauling. Red embossing tape declares it a "DEATH CLOCK". Later, the Scout can be seen sitting at the head of a long banquet table. Cut to the Spy, languidly brandishing a cigarette from its case]. He sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. A large fire has broken out behind it. Expiration Date: Directed by John Cook, Robin Walker. A subreddit for all your TF2 copypasta needs. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. ], [The Medic leans forward with interest. ], Spy: I'll do it. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Engineer: [Threateningly] How much? Soldier: [Poking his head into the cavity] Good news! ], Spy: Final Question [Cut to a shot of Spy, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] Spy: Well, a mystery we will take to our graves then. Wanna do it? Deep chimes accent the moment], [The strings slow then stop. Press ], [All the mercenaries are expressionless except for the Heavy who is on the verge of falling asleep with his arms folded. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Spy: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. [She holds her hand out expectantly]. [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Miss Pauling] See, that is where this all starts! Looks like I will be burying bodies all weekend. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. [He nearly chokes the Scout and raises a hand as if to punch his face. ], [The Scout looks back, confused, and turns forward, arms akimbo.]. [He uses the dummy to slap Scout across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. is set in front of him. The line gained popularity as a catchphrase, phrasal template and a subject of references in Team Fortress community, gaining wider recognition online in the late 2010s. The Pyro can also be seen engulfing the monster in flames. Spy: [ignoring him] It contains the dying wish of every man here. - So we are fine, as long as nobody teleports any bread! No. What have you two eggheads been workin' on? The Heavy is mildly amused.]. No. Ah [Scout walks towards a door labeled Dining Area.] And this. Scout: [A look of confusion on his face] You're not mad? Scout: Wait. Wait! Scout: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, Spy. He turns to address the Scout, who is a furry, while the Medic steps back.]. The new weapon set is inspired by the 15-minute TF2 short film that debuted yesterday, and - fittingly, given that the movie was called Expiration Date - it's a limited time offer. Scout: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] Go to hell, Spy. You are amazing with ladies. Miss Pauling: They took the briefcase Don't worry, we can fix this. Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! Recommended videos. The Scout turns back to the monitor.]. It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on the Heavy, who endures the debris pounding down on his back.

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